cupcakes |

God took Adam’s rib and made it into Eve. That is why women are DELICIOUS.

Lady Gaga is the gay community’s prize winning tomato. And I want a piece. I mean clearly we are cut from the same glittery cloth. How else would I be able to transition so seamlessly from my standard “anal-retentive-Navajo-soft-butch” look on the left into my silent cry for attention on the right?

Like everyone else who gives a yuletide damn, I’ve been girding my loins for the Xmas/Festivus holiday that is quickly approaching us like a steady, heaving choo-choo train. It’s hard to even deal with all this frantic holiday energy swirling all around us without eating our faces off. Only me? Once I ate an entire gingerbread condo, and I’ve been known to use a yulelog as a battering ram for my face. ‘Tis the season for finding out if you’re allergic to a 2 lb. marzipan pig the hard way.

On top of all this, I’ve been emotional and moody and super into watching thousands of Degrassi reruns again. Holiday stresses are mostly to blame, plus puberty is whack! These cupcakes are a perfect mental salve for the churning holiday dramaz around us.

I heart Gaga pretty hard, so it’s not a surprise that I have a mental image of all of her past outfits sequestered in the brothel of my mind. These cupcakes borrow motifs and drag queen energy from this hat she wore to the 2009 VMAS:

Instructions are pretty simple for this project: make cupcakes however you’d like. Get creative, it’s good for the world. You wanna throw in some funfetti? Toss it in the cauldron, natch!

Frost the cupcakes then print this image of Gaga out and chop out her face. Press into the middle of each cupcake and cover the surrounding area with coconut shavings. DONE. See? Super fácil, plus I only ended up with one cupcake that looked like a baroque troll.

Comparison! Cupcakes v. IRL Gaga. I’m glad my iPhone sometimes decides to take pics that look like they’re from 1973: